What I'm about to describe to you was necessitated by the fact that I am, and will most likely continue to be, "in the closet". As I described in my Wardrobe section, I had to move all of my femme belongings out of the house, for fear they may be discovered. For that same reason, I needed a safe place to receive any mail-order items, and also a more discreet way to pay for the femme stuff I was inevitably going to buy. It seemed that a P.O. Box and a Credit Card were in order.

It may seem somewhat devious, but given what was/is at stake with possible discovery, I was prepared to go to unusual limits to keep things under cover.

In order to get a Credit Card, I needed an address that was obviously not my home address, and ideally, one that would serve as a drop for mail deliveries to Jennie. There are any number of commercial P.O. Box companies around (I chose not to get one through the USPS, partly because I've had bad experiences with them in the past, but mostly because they won't accept deliveries from their shipping rivals, UPS and FedEx.) I also wanted a P.O. Box whose address read more like a private home than the very obvious format the USPS forces you to use. (I frequently write "Apt." in front of the Box number, so it looks like Jennie's home address).

For convenience, I chose one in a location that I drive past every day on my way to and from work, but not so close to home that there was a high likelihood of bumping into someone who might know me. I opened a mail box account and listed Jennie as a second person who would receive amil deliveries at that location. (I told the woman who worked there, that Jennie was the admin for my small business.)

Now I had an address...

.

Step two was a little more involved because I needed to get some credit card applications. I don't know about you, but each month I must get half a dozen offers through the post for credit cards. I usually just tear them up and throw them away. But this time, I was reading the offers carefully. I was looking for a couple of things:

• No annual fee
• Mastercard or VISA (since they can be used just about anywhere - sorry AMEX!)
• And most importantly, a space to designate a second card holder.

It didn't take long to find such a card on offer: I filled in the application (truthfully) listing Jennie as the second card holder. Under such circumstances, the credit card company hold the primary card holder fully responsible for the second card holders purchases, and as such, no financial background (or Social Security Number) is needed for the other card holder. Of course, I had to list my home address as the billing address... but not to worry, I'll explain how to circumvent that little problem. I also listed my office phone as the contact number, since I didn't want any calls going to my home when I wasn't there.

In due course, the two credit cards arrived at home. (The envelopes are deliberately very non-descript, so I figured the chances of my wife opening it were slim. Even if she did, I was ready to claim that the second card was a blunder by the credit card company and I would just send it back).

The next step in the process was to buy something in order to generate a bill. Using the "male" card, I bought gas for the car, and several weeks later, the bill duly arrived. The bills always have a space for a 'change of address' - which I immediately filled out with the P.O. Box address, enclosed my cheque and sent it off. During the next payment cycle, I made a couple more fuel purchases, and sure enough, the second bill I received went directly to the P.O. Box.

At that point, I knew I was set. Jennie had a valid credit card, which she has used, without any problems, on numerous occasions ever since.

Just one word of caution, treat your femme credit card with a great deal of respect - as you would any of your other cards. Any payment issues with this card will ruin your credit rating just as quickly!